It doesn’t matter whether you’re monogamous, polyamorous, or in an open relationship: You're always allowed to ask your partner not to do something that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t like the idea of seeing your boyfriend getting pounded by multiple dudes, but I would like to say on record that I find the idea very hot. But the thought of a ton of men topping my boyfriend makes me feel almost physically ill, even though intellectually I recognize that sex is just sex and the role one plays shouldn’t make a difference.Īm I think about this all wrong? Is it wrong of me to ask my boyfriend not to put himself in this position (literally)? I also am not bothered by the idea of him bottoming for one or two guys.
Seeing him top multiple guys didn’t bother me at all. I cannot say exactly why this is, but I have an extremely negative gut reaction to the thought of that. Based on his comments, what’s appealing to him is the idea of a lot of guys really going to town on him. Lately, my boyfriend has been dropping comments about wanting to have group sex again, but this time he’d like to bottom. It was an overall a positive experience we both enjoyed. Both my boyfriend and I are vers, but during the group sex, we both topped. We’ve also had a couple of threesomes and had group sex together on one occasion. We made a rule that if we are traveling without each other, sex with other people is OK. We’re very honest about our sexual wants and needs, and we recognize that we both have some sexual fantasies that the other can’t fulfill. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months. To submit a question for a future column, fill out this form. Ask me anything-literally, anything-and I will gladly Sexplain It. I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner," because you know that already. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH).
Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer and ethical manwhore (a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I'm very, very open about it).